Fedore Writer

Amid many topics, my friends and I occasionally ponder aging and interventions we’d consider, ranging from facials to cosmetic surgery. We ask questions like, “What would you be willing to do to look better?” No doubt you and your friends ask these kinds of questions, whether you’re thirty or seventy.

Our intervention choices are vast. The top minimally invasive procedures are Botulinum Toxin (Botox), soft-tissue fillers, noninvasive fat reduction, nonsurgical skin tightening, and skin care and treatments (ASPS, 2022).

What would I be willing to do? I’m far too quick to reply that I’m letting the aging process take over. “Who’s going to care?” Especially when I’m not looking for a relationship.

But last summer, one of my friends asked, “What about self-love?”

Her question was like a dart that landed in the middle of my forehead and was the kind of bullseye question that has me pondering still.

This month, with Valentine’s Day in the middle, love is probably on the minds of most of us. Shouldn’t self-love be the greatest love of our lives? And what should self-love look like?

Why can’t I be bothered?

Now that I’m retired, athletic wear is my preferred clothing. When I get ready to go out to a comedy club, casual dinner, or shopping, I debate how dressed up I want to be or ought to be. Most of the time, I settle on yoga pants or jeans and a sweater or nice T-shirt, depending on the weather.

Have I become apathetic about my appearance? I hardly bother with make-up and occasionally go an extra day without washing my hair. And I’m not depressed… I’m just taking a break from looking like I care. However, should anyone take a break from self-love or self-care?

What would I be willing to do?

I recently flipped through a Sharper Image catalogue and perused the products that are available for self-care (a.k.a.: anti-aging). Under Eye Rejuvenator, LED Light Therapy Mask, Ultimate Fat Freezer, Underarm Toner, 2-in-1 Cellulite Remover, Double Chin Reducing Massager, LED Home Electrolysis Kit, and At-Home Professional LED Lip Therapy Device. Some of these products are intriguing and some are ridiculous–even insulting. An intriguing example is the LED light mask. In addition to a mask for our face, LED light therapy is used for physical therapy and can alleviate pain and promote healing. However, when we buy these products, do we buy into the idea that aging is bad? It’s no accident that females are depicted using these products in the catalog. A quick google search reveals that one in four people have had a cosmetic procedure and the vast majority are women. It’s possible that my catalogue shows women and a male’s catalogue depicts men using these products, though I doubt it. In a search online, I found only Bro Mask products and men wearing the LED Light Therapy Masks. It’s hard to take the name, Bro Mask, seriously. But how men and women feel in response to appearance expectations is no laughing matter.

Aging is depicted as something to be avoided. When I say, “I don’t want to try that hard,” I’m really saying, “I want to rail against the idea that we’re supposed to look great on the outside.”

I would never consider cosmetic surgery. The risks and some celebrities who’ve been surgically altered horrify me. Products like Botox and collagen injections scare me too. I have allergies and worry that I’d react to clostridium botulinum. Yeah, I’d get rid of my wrinkles because my face would swell like a cantaloupe. The LED light therapy masks look scary. Three words: Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But they’re not invasive like a needle injecting Botox and I’m not allergic to LED light.

Self-esteem with a side of wrinkles

Recently over dinner, a friend and I were recapping our summer conversation. She said, “I have more self-esteem now, but I looked better when I was younger.” We both laughed at that irony.

Is my apathy a form of self-esteem? Maybe I know who I am and don’t need to outwardly prove it. I don’t have answers yet. In the meantime, I’m going to flip through the Sharper Image catalogue again and decide if I want to buy into anti-aging.

Sources: Goggle AI Overview and American Society of Plastic Surgeons Insights and Trends Report, 2022.

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